“Telling someone not to be sad because others have it worse is like telling people they can’t be happy because others have it better.” I saw this quote earlier this week and could not find the original author. This is a wonderful analogy though.

“You’re better off than most” is a phrase that, believe it or not, is helpful to some. When I hear this, however, I get so frustrated. It may be true that someone with a life-threatening disease has bigger problems than me, but that doesn’t make my problems invalid. People like to say “you shouldn’t be so depressed, because there are those who live with cancer”, and it makes me feel ashamed to be the way I am sometimes. I’m probably not the only one who feels this way.

Despite what others say, your problems, big or small, are valid. If someone says that you should quit crying about your depression, anxiety, etc. because there are others with cancer, then that person has clearly never experienced the problems that you face. The world isn’t perfect; there are always going to be problems, big and small, and you are a stronger person for facing these problems.

Problems are not meant to be measured up to other problems in order to determine validity. They are meant to define who we are. Keep that in mind for the next time somebody comes to you for help.


6 thoughts on “

  1. Omg I love this, and I wholeheartedly agree!! 👏🏼👏🏼. I always detested that response from others, but could never quite figure out why, until I read your post today. You explained it perfectly!! It’s the installation or induction of a sense of shame. Yep, you nailed it 😊

    May I reblog this on The Silent Wave for one of my Mental Health Monday posts? 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on the silent wave and commented:
    This is a wonderful and thoughtful post. It brings to light some of the potentially harmful effects of what might otherwise be a well-intentioned consolation. The truth is, it isn’t, and instead of helping someone, it can do further damage. The other truth is, everyone has their own set(s) of issues that affect each person differently. It’s not good to judge one person’s set(s) of challenges against another’s. This post is spot-on, and a great read! Applause all around. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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